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输赢不是争吵出来的Youa
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戴尔·卡耐基Daleegie
YearsagoPatrickJ.O'HaireJoinedoneofmyclasses.Hehadlittleedudhowhelovedascrap!Hehadonachauffeur，aomebecausehehadbeentrying，withoutmuchsuccess，toselltrucks.Alittlequestihtoutthefactthathewasuallysgwithandantagonizingstheverypeoplehewastryingtodobusih，ifaprospeythioryaboutthetruckshewasselling，Patsawredandwasrightattheer'sthroat.Patwonalumentsinthosedays.Ashesaidtomeafterward，“Iofteofanoffig:'Itoldthatbirdsomething.'SureIhadtoldhimsomething，butIhadn'tsoldhimanything.”
MyfirstproblemwasrickJ.O'Hairetotalk.Myimmediatetaskwastotrainhimtorefrainfromtalkingandtoavhts.
Mr.O'HairebeeofthestarsalesmeeMotorpanyinNewYork.
Howdidhedoit?Hereishisstoryinhisownwords:“IfIwalkintoabuyer'soffidhesays:'What?AWhitetruck?They&#ood!Iwouldn'ttakeoneifyougaveittome.I'mgoingtobuytheWhose-Ittruck.'Isay，'TheWhose-Itisagoodtruck.IfyoubuytheWhose-It，you'llake.TheWhose-Itsaremadebyafinepanyandsoldbygoodpeople.'”
“Heisspeechlessthen.ThereisnumeheWhose-ItisbestandIsaysureitis，hehastostop.He'tkeeponallafternoonsaying，'It'sthebest'whenI&#withhiWethehesubjectofWhose-Itaalkaboutthegoodpoiruck.”
“Therewasatimewhenaremarklikehisfirstonewouldhavemademeseesdredande.Iwagai;andthemainstit，themoremypruedinfavorofit;andthemued，themorehesoldhimselfoor'sproduct.”
“AsIlookbaoIwaseverabletosellanything.Ilostyearsofmylifeinsgandarguihshutno>
AswiseoldBenFraosay:“Ifyuearadiayachieveavies;butittyvictorybecauseyouwillyouroppo'sgoodwill.”
Sofigureitoutforyourself.Whichwouldyouratherhave，aheatricalvictoryoraperson'sgoodwill?Youhaveboth.
FrederickS.Parsons，aaxt，hadbeendisputingandwranglingfovermenttaxior.Anitemofhousanddollarsarsohishousanddollarswasiyabaddebt，thatitwoulded，thatitoughtaxed.“Baddebt.myeye!”
retortedtheimustbetaxed.”
“Thisiorwascantandstubborn，”
Mr.Parsonssaidashetoldthestorytotheclass.Reasonwaswastedahelued，themorestubbornhebecame.SoIdecidedtumehesubjedgivehimappre.
“Isaid，'Isupposethisisaverypettymatterinparisonwiththereallyimportantanddifficultdesyou'rerequiredtomake.I'vemadeastudyoftaxatioI'vehadtogetmyknowledgefrombooks.YyoursfrlineofexperieimewishIhadajoblikeyours.Itwouldteachmealot.'Imeantevery>
&heiraightenedupinhischair，leanedbadtalkedftimeabouthiswork，tellihecleverfraudshehaduonegraduallybedly，alyhewastellihis.Asheleft，headvisedmethathewouldyproblemfurtherandgivemehisdeafe>
“Hecalledatmyofficethreedayslaterahehaddecidedtoleavethetaxreturlyasitwasfiled.”
Thistaxiorwasdemoanfrailties.HewantedafeelingofimportandaslongasMr.Parsuedwithhim，hegothisfeelingofimportancebyloudlyassertinghisauthority.Butassoonashisimportancewasadmittedastoppedandheermittedtoexpandhisego，hebecameasympathetidlyhumanbeing.
多年前，帕特里克·欧·海瑞参加了我的成人教育班。
帕特文化水平不高，却很喜欢和人争论。
他曾做过司机，之所以来向我求助，是因为他推销卡车没能成功。
这是由一个小问题引发的——他总是不断地与客户争论而触怒他们。
一旦对方对他销售的汽车稍有不满，帕特便会喋喋不休，没完没了。
那段时期，帕特赢了不少场争论。
正如他后来对我所说的那样：“我常常走出办公室便自言自语道：‘我好好地教训了他。
’我确实教训了他，可我没有卖出想卖的车。”
我首先需要解决的不是教帕特如何去说话，最紧迫的是，我要帮他克制自己，避免争吵。
如今，欧·海瑞已经是纽约怀特汽车公司的销售明星。
他是如何做到的呢？让我们听听他自己是怎么说的：“如果我现在向某个客户推销，而他说：‘什么？怀特汽车？怀特汽车一点儿也不好。
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